Writing (and keeping) New Year’s resolutions


After 2 busy weeks of partying, traveling and basically, stuffing myself silly with Christmas and New Year goodies, I finally found some quiet time to think (the operating word here is ‘think’) about my new year resolutions. I have never been good at writing yearly goals. Never thought it was necessary. I don’t even write ‘to-do’ lists or shopping lists. Maybe that’s why I always spend too much money on groceries. It’s not like I never tried to, I even bought fancy notepads, diaries and a nice coloured pen to encourage myself to create more structure in my life. I recall writing new year resolutions once, that was last year – to read at least 10 classics in 2011. I am proud to say I achieved that in the first 2 months of 2011, that was mainly because I was back in Perth in January to visit relatives. With scorching-hot 40 degree days during the time we were there, there was nothing better than hiding in bed and reading. Erm… plus, I got some children’s versions of classic stories like Alice in Wonderland.

I found some interesting and funny new year resolutions on the internet. Most people seem to have the same goals – Quit a bad habit like smoking, drinking, biting toenails and not washing hands after going to the loo. There are also quite a few altruistic ones like working with neglected children (my own), starting a dubious charity to raise funds for a boob job and finding world peace. I think the top goal on everyone’s list is to lose weight.

If you are still scratching your head to think of good resolutions to make, here are some that might inspire you…

  • I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
  • I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more new excuses.
  • I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  • I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
  • I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.
  • I will not tell the same story at every get together.
  • I won’t worry so much.
  • I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine
  • Spend less than $1825 for coffee at Starbucks this year.
  • Claim all my pets as dependents on my taxes
  • Watch more cute and cuddly kitten videos on Youtube
  • Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes

I find that the key to losing weight is setting concrete targets like…

  1. Start smoking to lose weight
  2. Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser
  3. Lose weight by living on the moon
  4. Find a more accurate scale
  5. Stop buttering your doughnuts
  6. Eat more fruit… snacks

Have a happy 2012 everyone!

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